I Am - Loveless_One

Loveless_One · Post by **Loveless_One** » 24-05-2009 23:52

[color=darkblue]Well, here is my attempt at poetry. Please tell me if you like it or not, be [b]brutal[/b] it will help me get better at the parts I suck at.

Here we go...[/color]

[size=22][color=red]I Am[/size][/color]

I am not perfection
Don't look for a saint in me
I live my life boundless
Fun and fancy free

I am not a winner
Don't make me be the best
I am much more content
To live among the rest

All these labels and markers
Telling us who we are
Just downgrade and divide us
Without them, we could go far

I am not perfection
Don't look for a saint in me

I am not a winner
Don't make me be the best

I am free

But I [b]am[/b] a little different from the rest

Because I am [b][i][u]ME[/u][/i][/b]

And that's all you're going to get!!

Danni_Auttumns · Post by **Danni_Auttumns** » 25-05-2009 11:11

that twas awesome! :banzai:

Effu-Kun · Post by **Effu-Kun** » 25-05-2009 12:41

[b][color=red]Great, great, GREAT! Except for one little thing, your beat is a little off on the line "Without them, we could go so far"

Eliminate the so (one beat too many) and it will be perfect! I love it!

My kinda poetry :banzai: [/color][/b]

Sesshy'sGirlLOL01 · Post by **Sesshy'sGirlLOL01** » 25-05-2009 13:20

This is good!! :banzai:

Loveless_One · Post by **Loveless_One** » 22-07-2009 23:26

I'm glad you guys like it and I fixed the beat problem, Effu-kun, thanks for pointing that out!

:happy:

Luvs you all!

Yuria-chan · Post by **Yuria-chan** » 11-10-2010 22:36

It's really nice, it has a musical ring to it.
I think it could be a song rather than a poem, they seem like lyrics to me to a kinda pukish/ rockish sounding song!
Maybe you should search some people who can play the guitar :megane:
You might have a hit!